Wednesday, December 31, 2014

As we come to an end...

This journey started for me in October of 2013. That's when I decided to move forward with Erin and Jose, to help them have a baby. As we ring in 2015 and are weeks, or maybe days, away from finally meeting this sweet baby, I'm left reflecting on what a journey this has been. And left to sort through all the emotions that come with the ending. 

I'm beyond excited. The moment they meet and touch and hold their long awaited baby boy has always been the driving force for me. To see a couple who fought for years to have a baby, finally hold that precious being is the absolute most rewarding gift. 

As a mother to four amazing little people, I know. I know that even on our darkest days I'm blessed beyond measure. Even when I'm completely drained and touched out, I'm the luckiest woman to have these little people in my life. That's why I chose to do surrogacy. To help another woman become a mother. To give her the gift I've been so easily able to have. 

But, excitement isn't the only emotion. I'm not sure how to explain my other feelings. I guess like any major, life changing event, when it's over, it's....sad. It's an odd place to be because a baby is about to be born. A Mom and a Dad and a family are about to be born. So really, it's just the beginning. But for me, the two transfers, the sonograms, the appointments, the meds and injections, the miscarriage, the healthy pregnancy, kicks and wiggles, growing life, that is about to be over. A very long journey to get to this moment we've all been waiting for is just the beginning, but it's also the end. 

I'll cherish these last few weeks or days with Baby Eli. Let my children love on him as much as they want. Let there be kisses and snuggles and, well, acrobats by by two year old on my big belly. Treasure the time I've been able to hold him and grow him. The time we've been able to watch him grow and move from the outside. Soon he will get to meet his Mommy and Daddy and experience a lifetime of love. He's a lucky, lucky little boy. He doesn't know it yet, but he's loved by so many people. And so many people helped bring him into this world. He will have quite the story to learn one day. And I couldn't be more happy to be apart of it.